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Information & Advice From CounsellorsIf you're interested in an article below and want to find out more about that particular counsellor, simply click on their name to be taken through to their full profile. December 14th, 2008 What is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT)? Specialist areas:Panic attacks Insomnia Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Abuse (Sexual, Verbal, Psychological) Anger management Bereavement Depression Relationship and personal issues Sexuality Stress Trauma EAP [Employee Assistance Programme] What is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT)? Our 'cognitive processes' are our thoughts which include our ideas, mental images, beliefs and attitudes. Cognitive therapy is based on the principle that certain ways of thinking can trigger, or 'fuel', certain health problems. For example, anxiety, depression, phobias, etc, but there are others including physical problems. The therapist helps you to understand your current thought patterns. In particular, to identify any harmful, unhelpful, and 'false' ideas or thoughts which you have that can trigger your health problem, or make it worse. The a ... December 13th, 2008 by Theobalds House How to Survive the Stress of Christmas Christmas Can Be a Difficult TimeTime off without work and daily routine to distract you can leave you more aware of what is making you unhappy or anxious. Any cracks in relationships deepen as you spend a greater amount of time together. Or if you are on your own Christmas time can heighten feelings of loss and isolation. Memories of people who are important to you who have passed away, or of your own lost youth can bring up painful feelings. Often getting together with family reawakens old conflicts and hurt, and the stress of being together 24/7, may all cause tension. There is also more risk of a breakdown in family communication. Top Tips for Christmas: • Remember being upset is a normal response. Acknowledging and allowing these sad feelings will help more than burying them, as they will just resurface later. • Look after your health: healthy eating, plenty of rest, regular enjoyable exercise, and minimi ... December 11th, 2008 by Dave Barthram Spiritual Counselling During the last 50 years or so there has been a growth in interest in things spiritual. High profile events such as the Flower Power movement in the 1960s and the visit of the Beatles to the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi were early evidence of this.The same period has seen a resurgence of interest in Druidry and the growth of the Brahma Kumaris, World Spiritual University, and the National Federation of Spiritual Healers (NFSH), which trains people to be spiritual healers. Also there has been a surge in the production of self-help books which have increasingly had a spiritual basis. Recently many of these books have been channelled by spiritual beings through earth based authors such as Neale Donald Walsch, ("Conversations with God"), Esther and Gerry Hicks, ("Ask and it is Given" and other books which speak the words of 'Abraham'), and Sonia Choquette, ("Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose"). A number of people have reported near death experiences which ... December 9th, 2008 by Faith Moyo-The Online Counselling Service Grief and Loss Grief and loss is a very painful aspect of life, yet the grief stage is important and leads to emotional healing, it can be prolonged and intensely painful experience, and can result in significant emotional distress.Grieving is a cycle of loss which often includes denial, fear, loneliness, grief, anger and letting go. It is a painful process but it allows us to come to terms with the loss. Although normal, grief can manifest itself differently in people. Some people move through its different stages almost effortlessly and others can get stuck at one stage. People who are grieving may never stop missing a deceased person or regretting a loss, but the pain will eventually lessen. Counselling can be the light in the dark.It gives you an opportunity to be heard, time to talk, cry, shout or just think. It may help you to look at your problems in a different way or bring relief by being able to communicate w ... December 8th, 2008 by Rhiannon Hill Ten Tips for Couples TEN TIPS FOR IMPROVING YOUR RELATIONSHIP1. Remember that you are two individuals with a different set of experiences, beliefs and world views. How you were brought up will largely define a great deal of your attitude to relationship 2. The other person isn't likely to be perfect. Issues big and small in a successful relationship need to be negotiated: remember, don't ASSUME - Assume makes an ASS out of U and ME! 3. If you are conflicting over money there might be underlying problems which are being displaced. Relationships should not be about money, yet issues over finance destroy a lot of partnerships. 4. If you want to improve communications then the best time to talk is when things are going well and you are relaxed. No issue ever gets resolved during a row because anger and raised voices bring up defences which prevent resolution. Try to always tell the truth no matter how afraid you are. Remember, your partner is suppose ... December 4th, 2008 by Sheila Foxgold UKCP Registered 2009 – A Time to Discover Yourself! Many people make New Year Resolutions that often fade by mid February, if they last that long. Sometimes this is because the Resolutions are too drastic, setting unrealistic expectations in too short a time. But what if you made the Resolution to simply APPRECIATE YOURSELF?Often our most neglected and challenging relationship is the one we have with ourselves. We hope and perhaps even expect others to like and love us yet we don’t share those feelings. Casting aside lines, blemishes, sagging and lumpy bits and generally less than perfect looks how do you feel about the person looking back at you from the mirror? Do you love or even like yourself? What difference would it make to your life if you could simply appreciate yourself? People talk about lacking in confidence and having low self esteem – often brought about by negative messages such as “you’ll never be any good” or “why can’t you be like your brother/sister?” said so of ... December 4th, 2008 by Irena Adelman Families and Christmas – having the best Christmas you can This can be an intense and demanding time of the year. It can be a time when we experience a particular sense of joy, warmth and connectedness. And a time of sadness, loneliness, disappointment and conflicted feelings. We need to find ways to support each other and ourselves to have the best experience we can.There can be huge expectations and demands, it’s as if a light shines on our relationships and us and they are crystallized for a moment “the good, the bad and the ugly”. We are dealing with the differing expectations and assumptions we have of celebrations, our family, giving and receiving. Every family has its own history and set of rules about how they celebrate and behave together. Over time families develop patterns of behaviour and members of a family may have particular roles. The roles can represent and reinforce a set of rules and values a family has. As time passes we grow older and people join and leave families. People chan ... December 3rd, 2008 by Jayne Cox Am I good enough? If I had a penny, yes just 1p for every young person I speak to who tells me they aren’t bright, clever, pretty or nice enough I’d be a very rich woman. It makes my heart weep to hear these beliefs from anyone, particularly the young. So I want to help and if you’re reading this and feel at a low ebb, you know that black hole, then perhaps this will hit a cord and if you’re happy, filled with sunshine and warmth, well you’ll perhaps move on or read this with a friend or loved one in mind.The first thing to do is look at yourself, go on really analyse yourself for a few minutes and perhaps grab the nearest scrap of paper and a pen. Question: When did you last hear anything remotely good about yourself? If you reel off a list of great moments then you’re pretty aware of your environment and you’re providing yourself with some great mood stabilisers, that’s fantastic. If you can’t remember much good and maybe it’s easy to remember the rotten moments ... December 3rd, 2008 by David Polak Why people do what they do and choosing to change. I've spent nearly 10 years now working in the field of counselling/therapy and social care and although I'm still learning everyday about what works, why people do what they do and how best to help them, I feel that I've developed some understanding over that time. The focus for most people generally coming for help is that they want to stop, or change behaviour that is damaging their own and sometimes other peoples lives so much.Much of addiction treatment, for example, is primarily geared towards the kind of interventions that help people to think about why they do what they do and then to make other choices. It sounds simple and to some extent it works, but addiction, or dependancy as most addicted people will tell you, is a little bit more complex than that. What I have found through my experience in the field is that most people presenting with drug and alcohol problems find that stopping is the easy part. What they then begin to uncover and discove ... December 3rd, 2008 by Kaye Bewley HG.Dip.P. EFT-ADV Sex Education - Weeding the Needing Out of You! “I want you.”“I need you.” Can you tell the difference? According to Celine Dion, “You can win in this thing called love” then she goes on to say, “love comes to those who believe it - and that’s the way it is.” The two key words here are ‘believe” and “it’. While not wanting to pull apart such a beautifully uplifting song with too much ungainly analysis, the aim of this article is to explore this ‘wanting’ and ‘needing’ thing a little further - in order expose what's making your life miserable and to help you turn that around. Much as we try our utmost to attract the kind of man or woman that we really want to share our lives with, our emotions always get in the way. Don’t get me wrong, emotions are needed. Yes, needed – not wanted. People live their lives out through emotions. Emotions guide us to what is ‘needed’ in life in order to survive. You may have heard of Maslow’s Hierar ... 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